Dear Gym: It’s Not You, It’s Me

Trail |

Dear Gym,

I’ve tried my best to make this work, but I’ve put far too much into this relationship, and you haven’t been able to meet my physical, mental and emotional needs. The truth is, I don’t love you. We’ve been one of those on-and-off couples for years, and that should have been my first clue that you weren’t the one for me.

Every night after work I could hardly muster the energy to visit you. We’ve tried Zumba, spinning, strength training, but I can’t get past the feeling that this isn’t a relationship; it’s a chore. No matter how hard I try, how far I run, how fast I pedal, or how long I climb, I never seem to get anywhere with you. I feel like a hamster on a wheel.

Also, I question your personal hygiene. You always smell like sweat, and I don’t know what kind of germs you’re carrying. And if I have to listen to one more of your remixes of the Top 40, I’m going to go completely insane.

This may come as a shock, but I’ve found someone else. His name is Outdoors. He challenges me. Every date is a surprise because he actually takes me to different places. And he never asks me for money or counts how many calories I burn. He’s a breath of fresh air.

You will be fine. I know you’re still seeing a bunch of other people on the side, and they don’t seem to be so demanding of you, but I need more passion and variety. I wish you all the best.

Moved Out and On


We feel your pain. Here’s a little something to get you through your breakup:


Break Up With Your GymBreak Up with Your Gym – by Teva

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